A Eulogy for Raj Maheshwari
By Tim Keogh
2 January 2021, Sydney, NSW
Thank you for the privilege of being able to speak about Dr Raj Maheshwari.
I start out with a verse by Rabindranath Tagore:
Peace, my heart let the time for
the parting be sweet.
Let it not be a death, but completeness.
Let love melt into memory and pain
into songs.
Let the flight through the sky end
in the folding of the wings over the
nest.
Let the last touch of your hands be
gentle like the flower of the night.
Stand still, O Beautiful End, for a
moment, and say your last words in
silence.
I bow to you and hold up my lamp
to light you on your way.
In representing the Australian Psychoanalytical Society (APAS), especially the Sydney Branch Executive and its Chair, Louise Hird, I convey on behalf of all my colleagues and our candidates, that is, Raj’s analytic family, our heartfelt sympathy to his wife and family.
We do feel Raj’s last touch, as we acknowledge the loss of someone whose life was deeply affected by psychoanalysis, by his own analysis in particular and who, in facing his own death, embodied its transformative power.
Raj came to APAS as a candidate when he was already an accomplished doctor, having graduated in Medicine in Jaipur in 2000. He became a fellow of the Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists in 2009, the same year he completed a masters in psychiatry, going on to become a certified forensic psychiatrist in 2014.
Throughout his professional life he has been active and significant committee member in all his professional associations and workplaces.
He was ultimately on the path of becoming a psychoanalyst and drawing all these precious threads of his professional life experience together in this way.
In my last conversation with him just a few days ago, he spoke eloquently and sweetly about his devotion to psychoanalysis, as well as to his family.
He also spoke about his impending death with grace and equanimity.
In this regard, whilst we have lost a wonderful addition to our analytic family, in death Raj leaves us all with an important and much needed legacy. This has to do with, psychoanalytically speaking, his inspirational grip on the good object or, to put it in everyday terms, his belief in goodness.
In this way he has left an especially enduring mark on our Society.
He never lost this belief as he struggled with his illness, if anything it strengthened.
Right up until the end of his life, Raj continued with his training and offered creative initiatives. Among these, a new candidate publication initiative he established with Carla Sarkis, whose first issue is due out later this month. This is such an important initiative which I hope will continue to flourish.
In addition to my recent role with Raj as his Progress Advisor, I had known Raj for many years through our joint forensic interests. Raj joined a steering group with me a few years ago that has resulted in the establishment of the Australian Forensic Psychotherapy Association. He will thus be remembered as a founding father of this organisation.
All his colleagues in this group were impressed with his constancy and devotion and his gentle but firm style in formative discussions.
In terms of his personal life, when Raj spoke about his wife and family one could tell that they completed and sustained him.
Our hearts our full, thinking of their sadness and loss.
I also know that Raj was also very fortunate to have had his parents with him last year and it was obvious how valuable this experience had been to him.
Although his life has been cut very short, it has been a very rich and full life.
Importantly, Raj has touched many lives and if my experience is an example, then the lyrics in the contemporary song “For Good” are very apposite. They are:
“Because I knew you…I have been changed for good”
I think that all of us who knew Raj have.
So, in conclusion and returning to Tagore verse:
Stand still, O Beautiful End, for a
moment, and say your last words in
silence.
And again…I bow to you and hold up my lamp
to light you on your way.