A Eulogy for Michael Waring

By Tim Keogh

Sydney, NSW

On behalf of the Australian Psychoanalytical Society, the Society of which Dr Michael Waring was a loved and respected member, I wish to thank the Waring family for the privilege to be able to pay tribute to him at this Service.

Moreover, on behalf of all our members and candidates, I wish to convey to you, Michael’s parents, brother, partner, family, close friends and
patients, our heartfelt sympathy and appreciation of the pain that many of you are experiencing as a result of his death.

As Michael’s colleagues we are also struggling to come to grips with his tragic and unexpected death.

It’s possible I am pushing through solid rock in flintlike layers, as the ore lies, alone;
I am such a long way in I see no way through, and no space: everything is close to my face, and everything close to my face is stone.

I don’t have much knowledge, yet in grief so this massive darkness makes me small.

You be the master: make yourself fierce, break in: then your great transforming will happen to me, and my great grief cry will happen to you.

Rilke’s poem helps us endure the fierce darkness that descends after any major loss, especially a traumatic one.

It reminds us how important at such challenging times it is to allow ourselves to feel the comfort and support to be found in the sustaining connectedness with each other and even the divine.

In paying tribute to Michael as a person and as an accomplished professional colleague, I want to note how Michael’s death is such a major loss to our Society.

A loss in so many ways.

Michael was so well liked, indeed for some loved, by his colleagues and the candidates (trainees) with whom he worked closely; it is therefore a strongly felt personal loss.

For those with whom he trained, those who were his close peers and those who knew him as a friend, this is a particularly deep sense of loss.

Michael, a relatively recent graduate as analyst, came to psychoanalysis with a passion after training as a psychiatrist. After completing his
lengthy specialist training in psychoanalysis, he demonstrated great dedication to the Society and gave to it generously. He worked tirelessly in organising and ensuring the success of candidate training weekends and seminars.

One saw that his intellectual strength was also complemented by his warm
and friendly manner. He was a gentle yet assertive man who always conducted himself with humility. He was also known for his great sense of fun.

Michael always enjoyed harmonious relationships with his colleagues and was known to be collegiate and easy going.

Those who knew him more closely also knew of his love and appreciation of his family of whom he always spoke fondly.

In concluding these brief remarks, let me also say that our
Society will preserve the memory Michael’s contribution, his kindness and dedication and we will let them stand.

Moreover, in the context of Michael’s very tragic death, I think it is important for all of us, family, partner, friends and patients, as we
grieve and begin to emerge from our complex grief and the difficult emotional storms it may entail, that we are ultimately able to preserve in our hearts the Dr Waring / Michael that each one of us knew, cared for and respected.

May he rest in peace.